Identity
Maternity Series - Artist Statement
Color is a focus of my work for a variety of reasons, but the main reason is for healing. My father was an angry and violent man. He took out his rage on his family daily and I took it upon myself to protect my mother and brother from him by becoming the focus of his fury. We didn’t have much, but my mother filled our home with colorful art to bring radiance into an otherwise dark place. I followed in her footsteps and escaped into vibrant art of all shapes and forms. Getting into the flow of mindful art creation has been the single most important part of my healing. I hope to share the happiness that colorful art brings me with others, especially children.
The Villain
There were times in my life where I was the villain in someone else’s story. I acknowledge that, I am regretful for hurting people and I am working on forgiving myself for it.
Heart In Hand
Heart in Hand. Because that’s who I am. What brings me the most fulfillment is genuinely connecting with people and the only way to do that is through vulnerability.
Moorea
I wish I could go back to those moments and tell myself that everything will work out and that I would regret not being present. You couldn’t tell from my pictures what I was going through. You can never tell with anyone. And *that* is how social media can lie.
I've Come a Long Way
Art has saved me twice. First as a child, creating art was the only thing that helped me deal with the constant terror and destruction in my household.
My Spiritual Journey
Raised Hindu, I resisted it in my youth since my father was a devout Hindu who felt that he could beat the shit out of me and then pray for forgiveness and it would be okay. We moved to basically an all white/Christian community and I found myself going to church - at one point nearly 3 times a week.
My "Brand"
Brand? I’m not a commodity. What is a “brand” when it relates to a person? Is it who they genuinely are or is it the image they portray? My art is my truth.
When I am in Nature
There is no place I’d rather be than the outdoors - free and inspired. Taking my art back into the inspiration it came from, and posing with it, is everything to me. ⠀
Extroversion and Introversion
In order to acquire the skills it takes to be an artist you have to be okay with being by yourself. I think this plays a key role in artists being in touch with themselves and their emotions. We dive deep in them. We don’t try to escape them but rather we channel them into our art.
On the Topic of Transformation
I am acutely aware of how habits run my life and I have had to harness them in order to transform who I am. I appreciate big changes such as a move across country because it gives me the ability to jump-start the transition into new habits and therefore acquire new thoughts, new patterns, new behaviors, and eventually a new self. ⠀
The Challenges of Abstact Painting
I face the same challenge in life and in my career. I always have the urge to do more - I want to add more, be more, love more, learn more. I have an insatiable appetite to grow.
Hidden Myself
This creative process is life changing. My art transforms me and I in turn transform my art. Now, when I introduce myself, I say “My name is Lona, and I am an artist.” THAT is what defines me - my heart and my soul.
Columbus, Ohio
Why did I leave? Looking back, the move to San Francisco was necessary. I needed to run away and start over. I needed to figure out who I was without constantly being reminded of my past.
Meeting Malala
I had the incredible opportunity to meet Malala at Mass Women's Conference. She has been my hero for many years. Although I cannot relate to getting shot by terrorists for standing for what I believe in, I relate in that what I endured as a child has made who I am today - someone who relentlessly pursues rights for women by bringing awareness to the issues such as equity in the workplace and domestic abuse.
Matriarchal Strength
Who were they? Did they all share the joy and love and creativity that I see within my ma and Aita? What sacrifices did they endure? What were their accomplishments? What were their fears? Who did they love? Who broke their hearts? What were their secrets?
Heartbreak
Memories, I’ve learned, can be both a blessing and a curse. It’s easy to get stuck in a loop of them, wanting something back that is gone. I’ve lived in this hell before and I’m grateful for the lessons I’ve learned from getting out of it.
Leaving Boston
My growth was certainly accelerated by the move here. It allowed me to let go of parts of me I never thought I’d release. It breaks my heart to leave so soon, but big changes have become less scary and more exciting because I know if nothing else, I’ll grow from it.
Brown Skin and Fire Hair
The other day I asked Andy how often he thinks about us being an interracial couple. I think about it all the time - especially when we are walking around our neighborhood in South Boston where I hardly ever see any people of color.
Marvel
Sometimes when I’m walking around I wonder, is anyone else thinking about how the sun feels on their skin or how the wind feels in their hair? Do they marvel at how life is growing through cracks in the sidewalk or listen intently to the songs of the birds? ⠀⠀⠀⠀
Valkyrie
“I live out loud now because I was forced to be silent for so long.” For me, living out loud... writing about it constantly & painting about it helps me. Others heal in ways that are not visible.
Empathy for Lona
I thought about what it must have been like to be a 4 year old little girl taken away from an extended family that showered her with constant joy and love to then meet her father in the US - a man she didn’t know & who brought terror into her life - in a country that was completely foreign and with no money, immersed in a language she did not speak.
Chaos
I love to create because no matter how chaotic or even tragic life can be, I know that I am bringing beauty into the world. It was always my escape as a child. If I find myself spiraling about anything, I think of art and I am transported to place where the cause of the spiral no longer matters. Art has helped me control and channel my emotions better than anything ever has. If you are struggling with depression or anxiety, I encourage you create and I encourage you to share. Holding in that energy will only destroy. ⠀⠀
Existential Crisis
For a while I was having an art existential crisis. I felt like I didn’t really have direction and I was all over the place. Is my focus woman? Is it mandalas? Resin? Since I am not a full time artist, I don’t need to define a style and that gives me more freedom.
Groove
We are creating grooves within our eternally complex mind with every feeling, thought and action. I continually ask myself, what groove am I deepening now? What new groove do I want to carve out? Art is just a byproduct of my most important creation - myself.
Day Job
My role is all about relationships and there is nothing I enjoy more than getting to know and connecting with someone else - not even art. It certainly is not an 8-5 job. There are weeks where I can hardly find any balance at all - especially when I travel. But, I will always find time for a little art.
Nowhere Else
Sometimes I am present intentionally and then there are times I am present because there is nowhere else I’d rather be. It is in those moments I feel the most alive.
Alive and Magical
e are magnificent creatures capable of doing so many spectacular things and yet many of us are concerned about what we are not capable of doing. We take for granted that which can do effortlessly. When I think about these things I am filled with joy and gratitude. I am alive and I am magical.
Stories
I have learned and have come to accept that all stories have a beginning and an end. Some stories are incredibly short, others epic and long. Sometimes, it is the shortest, most simplest of stories that tell the most profound truth.
Connected
Twice I have had dreams come true and many many other times I have dreamt about someone that either contacted me the next day or I ran into. I believe there is something connecting us all. If we open ourselves to it, we feel it. I feel it all the time. I can’t stop feeling it.
JP
We spend every moment at home in the same room. He dances when I dance. He loves watching me paint - but - if I don’t pay enough attention to him, he will tap me
The Present Moment
Whenever I find myself lost in thoughts that are not healthy, I bring myself to the present moment. I use all my senses to be exactly where I am. The more I practice this, the better I get.
Truths
We can have many truths at once. In fact, we can have infinite! We should not limit ourselves. Life is not black and white. It is colorful. It is messy. It is so beautifully unpredictable. ⠀⠀⠀
Wrinkles
I have blossomed every place I’ve been planted and at times they were dark and dry places. Places where the sun did not shine, the soil did not nourish and there was no rain to cleanse.
Back to Art
Life events have that ability. The ability to take what you think you know about yourself and make it disappear. And then you are left there questioning everything. Who are you? What are your values? What are your needs?
Balance
I’ve learned that if someone withdraws to point where I cannot reach them any longer, the best way to love them and myself is to let them go in hopes that we find each other once again in the future or another life.
Toes
Ever since I was old enough to be self-conscious, I have been embarrassed about my toes. I have a genetic trait that makes my third toe curl under my second. Due to this my other toes fit improperly in shoes and become calloused.
Teachers
I have found that the right people make their way into my life when I need them. Sometimes, it is a completely new person. Other times it is a friend or mentor (or both) that I suddenly reconnect with. And when they come, they come bearing gifts - gifts of wisdom, gifts of inspiration, gifts of love.
Change
He came after me with fists, hangers and belts. The physical pain was nothing. I wasn’t afraid of it. I challenged him and stepped in front of his terror when it was addressed to anyone but me. It was the psychological abuse that messed me up.
Woman on Fire
Women expressing their sensuality is taboo and stigmatized in society. We are subjected to play a role. If we get the wrong type of attention, it is our fault. I have been criticized by people in my extended family regarding my posts.
31 and Just Getting Started
Today I turned 31. I can finally say I know exactly who I am. I am confident. I am fearless. I am creative. I am loving. I am a fighter and a survivor. I am complicated and at times contradictory. I am both right and left brained. I am what words cannot describe and I am constantly changing.
Letting Go
Much like an archeologist, I have excavated many ideas for new paintings from within the deepest parts of my soul. inspiration is flowing out of me faster than I have the ability to capture it. ⠀⠀⠀
Brighter the Light, Darker the Shadow
When you grow up with a father who abused you daily,
When you have a father who tried to convince you that your mother's miscarriage was your fault because “God was saving the family from having another disaster,”
Risk Taker
I am a risk taker. From the stories I have heard about my childhood, it seems that I have always been that way. I put myself in uncomfortable and scary situations on purpose.
Transforming Reality
The other day, I was trying really hard to remember a memory and something occurred to me.
I've forgotten a lot.
Isn't our personality partly derived from the memory of our experiences? Yet I don't remember everything. So, what my brain does decide to remember and how my brain decides to remember it really drives who I am today. I realized that I am so positive because I had no choice but to put a glossy coat over my experiences. To survive I had to escape and so I've always created ...
I've forgotten a lot.
Isn't our personality partly derived from the memory of our experiences? Yet I don't remember everything. So, what my brain does decide to remember and how my brain decides to remember it really drives who I am today. I realized that I am so positive because I had no choice but to put a glossy coat over my experiences. To survive I had to escape and so I've always created ...