There were times in my life where I was the villain in someone else’s story. I acknowledge that, I am regretful for hurting people and I am working on forgiving myself for it.
These were taken in Shillong, one of India’s Matriarchal societies 🙌🏽. What a beautiful place. Some people called the women who ran the city “rude.” I liked them. They were strong and determined. They had no false pretenses. We ran into incredibly joyous Kashi women too. What isn’t there to be joyous about when you have smashed patriarchy?
I had the incredible opportunity to meet Malala at Mass Women's Conference. She has been my hero for many years. Although I cannot relate to getting shot by terrorists for standing for what I believe in, I relate in that what I endured as a child has made who I am today - someone who relentlessly pursues rights for women by bringing awareness to the issues such as equity in the workplace and domestic abuse.
Who were they? Did they all share the joy and love and creativity that I see within my ma and Aita? What sacrifices did they endure? What were their accomplishments? What were their fears? Who did they love? Who broke their hearts? What were their secrets?
The other day I asked Andy how often he thinks about us being an interracial couple. I think about it all the time - especially when we are walking around our neighborhood in South Boston where I hardly ever see any people of color.
I thought about what it must have been like to be a 4 year old little girl taken away from an extended family that showered her with constant joy and love to then meet her father in the US - a man she didn’t know & who brought terror into her life - in a country that was completely foreign and with no money, immersed in a language she did not speak.
I have blossomed every place I’ve been planted and at times they were dark and dry places. Places where the sun did not shine, the soil did not nourish and there was no rain to cleanse.
He came after me with fists, hangers and belts. The physical pain was nothing. I wasn’t afraid of it. I challenged him and stepped in front of his terror when it was addressed to anyone but me. It was the psychological abuse that messed me up.
Women expressing their sensuality is taboo and stigmatized in society. We are subjected to play a role. If we get the wrong type of attention, it is our fault. I have been criticized by people in my extended family regarding my posts.
Today I turned 31. I can finally say I know exactly who I am. I am confident. I am fearless. I am creative. I am loving. I am a fighter and a survivor. I am complicated and at times contradictory. I am both right and left brained. I am what words cannot describe and I am constantly changing.
When you grow up with a father who abused you daily,
When you have a father who tried to convince you that your mother's miscarriage was your fault because “God was saving the family from having another disaster,”
Is it any wonder that in chess the queen piece is the most versatile and powerful piece? She can go any direction and travel any distance. To lose her is to lose the most valuable piece in the game.